A bit of a back story
What better time is there to finding the true meaning of life than after a major move – right? Let me share a bit of my back story on how I find myself looking for the true meaning of life after moving from South Africa to Scotland.
I was born in East London, South Africa during the great flood of 1970. We were 3 kids, I was the oldest then my sister and my brother the youngest. Enjoyed my teenage years in the 80’s which according to my daughter was the best era to have lived in.
My mom insisted I started working immediately after my Matric year. She arranged an interview for me with a friend – in those day’s it still worked like that. I was successful at the interview and started working at the big blue company before I even received my Matric results (no holiday for me). I would ride to work on my 50cc scrambler motorbike with my skirt tucked into my tracksuit pants LOL.
Growing up
Having achieved all I could at the companies East London branch, I asked for a transfer to the Head office in Cape Town. I moved there in 1995. I packed most of my belongings into my Toyota corolla and drove down to Cape Town. Once there I stayed in the companies hostel (a frightful experience).
A year later I became a trainer in the New Business department and I moved into a flat which I shared with a friends sister. Another year on I moved into a better flat which I shared with my brother for a while who also moved to Cape Town. In 1999 I became a First Line manager in the companies Call Centre where I remained for the next few years.
Marriage and Grief
In November 2003 I got married and we moved into our first house (a fixer upper) in a lovely neighborhood. I gave birth to two beautiful children, my son and daughter. Round about the same time I moved over to the companies Client care center’s Training and Quality team as a Manager. My parents decided to move to Cape Town to be closer to my brother and I. They moved into a house a street away from where we lived.
I lost my Dad and got divorced in 2013 – a very difficult but liberating year in my life. I was able to stay on in my home which was perfect as I was close to my mom who needed my support.
Unfortunately my mom passed in 2017 while visiting my sister in Ermelo, a town in Mpumalanga, South Africa. I decided to purchase my moms home out of the Estate after her death as it was bigger and had a pool (much needed for the South African summers). The kids and I moved in at the end of 2017 – it was the best move ever.
From a work perspective things were changing and I was starting to question if I wanted to continue doing what I was doing. I loved being a leader in the training space, everyday was a new challenge and we had a strong team. The longer I worked the more I realised that I was not being authentically me. I had lost a lot of the real me during my marriage and the rest at my work over the years.
True meaning of life
For me “surely there must be more to life than this” was the biggest question born out of Covid and a rapidly declining South Africa.
Working from home, being able to sleep in a bit – not having to drive to work. Being able to quickly start the supper and do a load of washing during your lunch break was really great. As was being there for the children when they needed me ….
At the same time the country was falling into disrepair. Water shortages, electricity load-shedding, inflation, sky high food prices. As well as the fear that my kids would not be able to get work after school because of their skin colour etc.
It lead to a lot of reflection, research, thoughts, questions. Because I was a Christian who was also questioning religion it led to my growth in spirituality. I was starting to feel really STUCK! The more I thought about it the “stucker – lol” I felt. The more I grew spiritually the more I realised there had to be more to life than this.
You see I also had a dream. I wanted to start my own craft business. It was (and still is) a wild, get on and hold tight type of dream. Working where I was and the position I held meant I had no time and the wonderful part of working from home also meant I was available and could work ALL the time. The workload demanded it – leaving less time for me and doing what I loved. I just wanted out of corporate life but how on earth could I do it?
Major moves
January 2023
We had just come back from a lovely holiday with my family in Ermelo – it was back to school and work. My family in the UK had sent me a chat to check in and also reminding me that if I ever decided to move to the UK that I should consider it before my son turned 21.
Giving where I found myself and considering that both kids said they were going to leave SA after school anyway – I started giving this some serious thought. Was this an opportunity for change? I had never considered leaving South Africa, it really was a big decision
I could apply for an Ancestral visa as my Grandfather was born in Scotland and I could take both kids over. Spiritually I felt this was something I needed to look into. Let’s be honest, no place is perfect but the UK seemed to be looking better for my children’s future than South Africa was. Perhaps it needed a major move to help me find the true meaning to life.
Last week February 2023
After some discussion with the kids, we decided to look into it – what did we have to loose. We discovered that the cut-off age for my kids to qualify was 18 and not 21. My son turned 18 in April 2023. Two months, that’s all we had – we just had to get everything in and get to the UK before my son turned 18.
We decided to try and get it done (my daughter not so much – she really did not want to leave), if we made it then it was meant to be and if not well then that would be that.
March 2023
We had nothing – no passports, no un-abridged birth certificates. The passports would take almost 2 months to arrive and the un-abridged birth certificates up to 3 months if not longer.
The process was ridiculous. Mounds of information, letters and paperwork, photos, tests. Backwards and forwards and all the while waiting for the passports and certificates (my daughter still really not wanting to leave).
April 2023
Pretty much a duplication of March and still waiting. Without going into all the details (a story for another day), I truly believe that my spiritual team was working hard in the background. I sent through the last bit of information before COB on the Wednesday, Thursday was a holiday and Friday his birthday. Now all we had to do was wait to see if we were accepted or not.
May 2023
Towards the end of May I received notification that our passports could be collected but we still did not know if we had been accepted or not.
My son and I took the drive into Cape Town, stood in the line, received our passports. Yip there it was, in all 3 passports our ancestry visa’s. We had been accepted.
We had until the end of September to arrive in the UK but I wanted the kids to start school there in August so booked our flights for the end of July. I decided that we would live in Scotland. It was a place I had wanted to visit for years and had a yearning to live in. We had a mixture of excitement and fear and my daughter went into total meltdown.
June 2023
I handed in my notice and worked my final month as a Training Manager – 35 years of service. I put our beautiful house on the market and withdrew the kids from school. No use putting them through the strain of exams if they just had to start all over in Scotland.
July 2023
We decided to take the most important stuff with us and arranged to share a container with someone else (most of the stuff was my craft stuff – no way I was leaving that behind).
One can only understand the sorrows of the last month if you have been through it yourself and it’s too much to share here now. We flew out of Cape Town on the 26th of July, stopped over in Dubai and flew into London on the 27th.
We picked up our British residency permits and had a short visit with family in London. I then rented a van, packed up our pep bags (if you know you know) and drove up to Scotland to start our new lives.
Finding the meaning of life after a major move
So to sum it all up……………………..
I made a humongous decision to give up everything I worked really hard for. Packed up a few bits and bobs and took the 2 most important people in my life (one kicking and screaming) to start a new life in a new country.
AND
I decided that there was no better time to live my dream and start my own business……
AND
Why not figure out the meaning of my life and work through some limiting beliefs while we are at it, lol. So here we are – finding out the meaning of life after a major move.
Next: What I know for sure and what I am trying desperately to change.
